New Belgium's Tour de Fat Comes to Seattle Saturday at Gasworks Park

New Belgium brews beer. Years ago New Belgium started the Tour de Fat. A celebration of bikes and beer. New Belgium's started the Tour de Fat with the goal of hopefully ridding Planet Earth of cars, replacing them with bikes. Really cool bikes.

New Belgium's anti-auto attitude comes from several areas of concern, like natural resource depletion, excess energy consumption, pollution and just an over all dislike for oil.

This year's Tour de Fat stops in 13 locations across America this year, including this coming Saturday in Seattle. That being July 31 at Gasworks Park, starting early in the day and concluding at 4pm, after which there will be a party at Browers Cafe where there likely will be some New Belgium fermented beverages available.

On the Tour de Fat website one learns how one can acquire a new cool bike...

It's when one fortunate soul hands over their car, title and keys to the Tour de Fat altar in exchange for a bike. Not just any bike, a New Belgium, fully-loaded, hand-crafted, Fort Collins-built commuter bike. There's 13 Tour de Fat stops -- surely one near you -- and that's 13 car/bike trade opportunities. It's about weaning yourself off the petroleum teat. It's about becoming a better, sexier person. It's about rediscovering the cultural thrill of public transportation.

The Ten Commandments of the Tour de Fat:

1. Put no means of transport before thy bike: Come by bike because not only are bikes fun, but they help stave off some of our most wicked ills: Traffic, laziness, and pollution. Tour de Fat has a solution: ride this day, every day, and definitely when Tour de Fat heads your way.

2. Honor all other bikes: All bikes are good bikes, and all those who ride them are good people. This is the one Bike Festival that cherishes bicycle diversity on our Cruise-ade through town.

3. May every generation come forth: This is a family friendly event. Costumes, bikes and a parade? We were thinking like kids when we created Tour de Fat.

4. Thou shall come as a participant not a spectator: It's a costumed celebration of human-powered transportation. Muscles not motors, coasters, v-brakes and rotors. Come in your favorite alter ego, because when everybody's weird, no one is.

5. Thou shalt not bring booze; But enjoy the supplied malted adult refreshments responsibly: Please do not bring any outside alcohol on the ride or into the park. It could result in getting the event shut down...don't be that guy. And when you imbibe in our tasty brews, remember this is a Bicycle Festival with beer, not the other way around.

6. New Belgium shalt not profit: Our goal is to raise money for bicycle and environmental charities. New Belgium Brewing Company does NOT retain any of the events' proceeds. Please think of your $5 beer tokens as donations to a worthy cause. All sales are final; beer tokens do not expire and will be accepted next year (does not include TEXAS).

7. Remember the purpose, and bring not your pooches: No canine friends allowed this year. We're a dog-loving Brewery, but sadly not all municipalities and parks are. Please leave your best friends at home for their safety and the safety of others.

8. Keep the day true with thy good juju: The ride is free, but we suggest a $5 donation to the good bike advocates who are putting it on for you (does not include TEXAS). If you give more, you will not incur flats, mechanical troubles, or dry skin for a while…maybe. This is a celebration of the bike, not an anti-car rally. All tools have their place.

9. Thou shall rise early: Since Tour de Fat is a free show, we sometimes get more folks than we can accommodate. Once we're full, we will handle overflow like a restaurant or bar: one in, one out. We reserve the right to determine the appropriate crowd size in the name of safety and enjoyment for those inside.

10. Thou shalt not steal thy neighbors' bike: Don't even think of leaving with a bike that doesn't belong to you. Modern-day horse thieves will be dealt with by angry mob, pitchforks, and torches.

The Tour de Fat sounds fun. If I were in the Seattle area on Saturday, I would go.